When life feels insurmountable, frustrating, or scary—when the vibes are just awful—we can start to feel disconnected from ourselves. We may know something isn’t right, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s creating the turmoil. We keep doing the same things, living the same way, and telling ourselves we can’t change it. Our identities can become too wrapped up in external situations that we entered into willingly. Maybe it’s a job that is slowly draining you. Maybe it’s a relationship that leaves you unrecognizable to yourself (sometimes others too). Maybe your identity has become so attached to the life you’ve built that you can’t imagine who you would be without it. I lived like this for most of my young adult life.
I was in survival mode most of my 20s. Anxiety ridden when I had no idea what anxiety felt like. I thought that’s just how I was meant to feel. I believed there was nothing I could do. I was stuck; stuck in a job that drained me mentally and physically. A marriage that was toxic from the start and only got worse as the years went on. But for some reason I couldn’t see leaving either of these enormously awful-for-my-nervous-system environments.They were too important to my identity. Stuck was the word I allowed to fill my mind. I remember many nights, after a huge blow up with my ex, I’d repeat in my head over and over “I’m stuck”. I meant it, and that was all I could see. It wasn’t until I allowed myself to access the huge creativity ball that had been building inside of me for so many years, I actually started to unstick myself from these unhealthy situations.